Director: Anders Jacobsson
Year released: 1995
THE CHARGE: Practicing evil without licensing or documentation of proper training. Record keeping is important, people!
THE EVIDENCE: Evil Ed opens with a scene of a film editor sitting in front of an editing machine. You see, kids, in years gone by, movies were recorded on something called "film" and this "film" had to be manually cut and sliced together in order to create a movie. Well, the person in front of this particular machine is going completely mental and when the head of the movie studio enters the room to tell him to knock it off, the editor puts a grenade in his own mouth and pulls the pin. After being covered with gore, the studio head promptly fires the deceased editor.
Director: S. Craig Zahler
Year released: 2015
THE CHARGE: Forcing a head-on collision between two distinct film genres and charging admission to view the wreckage.
THE EVIDENCE: A couple of no-good sidewindin' bushwhackin' varmints stumble upon a burial ground and before you know it, one of them ends up deceased. The other takes refuge in a town run by Sheriff Kurt Russell and his majestic sheriff-y beard, but he may have unwittingly led some rather agitated cannibalistic tribesmen to an all-you-can-eat buffet. But the cannibals prefer to get their food to-go, and drag some townsfolk back to their caves. Will Sheriff Kurt and his beard save the day?
Director: Patrick Brice
Year released: 2014
THE CHARGE: He's a creep. He's a weirdo. What the hell is he doing here?
THE EVIDENCE: Josef is dying. He advertises on Craiglist for someone to film his last days, and to impart wisdom to a young son who will grow up without ever getting to know his father. Aaron answers the ad and it doesn't take long before he gets the sense that there's something... off about Josef. But hey, a job's a job, right? Even if it's the last job Aaron might ever take...
Director: Steven Goldmann
Year released: 2008
THE CHARGE: Offering a double-wide dose of delightful dread.
THE EVIDENCE: In case you haven't noticed by now, I watch a lot of horror flicks. My wife is kind enough to sit through most of them with me. And when we popped the tantalizingly titled Trailer Park of Terror into my DVD player, we did so with the lowest of expectations. With a title like that, how could we expect anything but a laughable and ultimately forgettable b-movie? So imagine my surprise when, about a half hour into it, I turned to my wife and asked, “Is it me or does this movie actually NOT suck?” She answered, “It’s not just you. This really is GOOD!”
Director: Richard Hiltzik
Year released: 2008
THE CHARGE: Sleepwalking through the worst case of sequelitis in many moons.
THE EVIDENCE: The original Sleepaway Camp introduced audiences in 1983 to teenage gender-confused serial killer Angela. It's considered a controversial classic for two reasons: 1) many of the campers who swear like sailors on shore leave, including some of the killer's victims, are played by actors actually under the age of 18 and 2) it features the most bizarre final frame of any movie in the history of film-making.
