Year released: 2009
THE CHARGE: Stealing classic monster mythology and infusing it with an unhealthy dose of Japanese WTF.
THE EVIDENCE: If I could sum up Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl in one word, it would be “ridiculously”. No adjective I could use to describe this film would be complete without it: ridiculously violent, ridiculously campy, ridiculously offensive, ridiculously enjoyable.
The heart of the film is a love triangle. Bratty Keiko, one of the most popular girls in her high school, keeps hunky Jyugon - who looks like a Japanese Jim Morrison but has the personality of dryer lint - under her thumb until cute transfer student Monami shows up and showers Jyugon with attention. But for all her attitude, Keiko’s no match for Monami. You see, Monami’s a vampire. And when the two fight, Keiko meets her untimely demise. Luckily, her father isn’t just the vice principal of her school - he also moonlights as a mad scientist with a penchant for kabuki make-up and patches Keiko back together into the titular Frankenstein Girl. And then things REALLY get weird.
Now, I’ve seen my fair share of bizarre Japanese live-action anime-style pseudo-horror action comedies, which are apparently a popular sub-genre in the land of the rising sun. Flicks like The Machine Girl1, Tokyo Gore Police2, Executive Koala3 and Robo-Geisha4 immediately spring to mind. But Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl out-weirds nearly all of them, coming a very close second to that mother of all Japanese freakouts: Big Man Japan5.
It’s not just the main plot that catapults the film into bizarre heights, though it’s certainly strange enough on its own. It’s the odd “Family Guy”-like non-sequiturs the film incorporates for no other apparent reason but to offend its audience. Subplots of the film include a wrist-cutting competition for teenage girls and a group of Japanese girls who want to be black so badly that they tan themselves to the darkest shade possible, wear crazy afros and put plates in their lips (Seriously, does the NAACP know this movie exists?!?!).
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| This is one of the least offensive scenes in the movie. |
But as surreal as Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl gets, it’s also quite ingenious. Just when it looks like there’s no possible way these subplots can contribute to the main story, the movie finds a way to fold them in. And it ends with a real kicker of a twist that I admit I didn’t see coming, but probably should have. In my defense, I might have been a wee too distracted by the girl who rips off someone’s leg, nails it to the top of her own head and uses it as a helicopter propeller to fly around town.
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| I told you so. |
Purists take note: I did watch the film dubbed, but this just added to the insanity. I strongly suspect that the English voice cast sprinkled in a few ad-libs here and there when they realized what they were working with on-screen. But even if the dub isn’t a pure translation of the original Japanese dialogue, it’s still funny as hell. If you insist on watching with the original dialogue and English subtitles, your mileage may vary.
Fans of the live-action anime-inspired films will definitely get a kick out of Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, but the copious buckets of gore splattered throughout might be too much to introduce newbies to the sub-genre. Find them a nice Sailor Moon fan-made video or lighter fare like Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge6 and work your way up from there.
THE VERDICT: Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is NOT GUILTY of being boring, but recommends that the filmmakers attend multicultural sensitivity training.
Footnotes:
1. Actually a real film.
2. Also actually a real film.
3. I swear to God, this is a real film too.
4. Yep, also a real film.
5. It's real and it's spectacular.
6. Also real. Google it for yourself.
